Recently my parents came to visit from Pittsburgh.
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Hide the giant lube jar! The parents are coming!
July 14, 2010
My boyfriend and I live in the heart of Boystown
and by now my parents are used to what they refer to as "the lively
activity" that goes on nearly 24/7.
When they
first visited years ago, I was more worried about my surroundings and
made sure everything was "parent friendly." I would reddup the apartment
(that's Pittsburghese for "a quick clean") and do a scan to make sure
there weren't any nude male screen savers on the computers, a dog-eared
copy of the "Gay Kama Sutra" on the bookshelf or a 30-gallon jug of
lubricant on the dresser.
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Bedroom is a two-way street
June 16, 2010
A relationship is a two-way street.
One person gives a little and takes a little, and
the other does the same. There are also certain agreements made in a
relationship because one person doesn't like a particular chore. For
example, the guy might clean the litter box and the woman will vacuum,
or one person will kill the spiders and the other will dust the
tchotchkes. Or the husband will hunt dinner and the wife will cook it
up--hey, that's how the Ingalls family operated.
But
this sort of arrangement can get sticky in the bedroom. If one person
is tackling a big chore and the other is simply reaping the rewards,
there's a problem. That's why I was surprised when a friend of mine,
whom I shall call "Bob" to protect his identity and use a name with a
double-entendre, said he refuses to perform oral sex on his girlfriend
but expects her to pleasure him that way. How is that fair?
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How much 'Sex' can one person take?
June 2, 2010
I have a love/hate relationship with "Sex and the
City."
I loved the TV show but hated the first movie. So
I was a bit concerned about the "SATC2" movie that opened last week;
would this film be better or worse than the first?
I
had seen most of the episodes of "SATC" when it aired on HBO from 1998
to 2004. Say what you will about SJP's constant puns, Samantha's
over-the-top sexcapades and the girls' drag queen-inspired wardrobes,
it's a fun way to pass 25 minutes of your day--except when the character
of Mr. Big in on screen, and that's where my apprehension begins.
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Hello, I'm giving you the kiss-off
May 5, 2010
I don't know why some people kiss hello.
How do you usually greet a friend you haven't seen in
ages? Probably a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek, right? If you run
into someone whom you see often you will most likely just say "hello"
and leave it at that. Or if you are a straight guy whose favorite
pastime is playing bags and making a PBR pyramid on your front stoop and
yelling obscenities at anyone who walks past, then you probably greet
everyone with a "bro!" a fist-bump and a "whatsup" chin nod.Not us gay men--most of us love to kiss hello. Not the friendly peck on the cheek mind you; I am talking about the full-on, puckered lips to lips (no tongue unless you are really friendly). It's very common, it's very accepted and it's starting to get very annoying.
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Spoiler alert: This column may upset you
April 7, 2010
I lost a few friends lately.
Well, not so much "lost," as apparently chased
away. They ditched me on Facebook because of my statuses.
I
have been scolded both in public (on my wall) and in private (via
Facebook e-mail) about my status updates, although never in person
because that's not how "social" networking works.
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More gay men breaking the mold
March 17, 2010
It used to be I could spot a fellow "family member" a
mile away.
Just one glance at a guy and if he was in the
community, then my gaydar
alarm would go off: "Alert! Cherry cherry boom-boom!" Heck, I could
even tell if someone was gay based on the font they used in their
e-mails. (For reference, comic sans means the sender is a gay man, or
possibly a lonely, single, middle-aged, conservative Republican woman
with pet birds. It's six of one, really.)When asked how I could tell that someone was gay based on a 10-second conversation while in line at the DMV, I would joke, "I have a theory!" (That it's a demon, a dancing demon. Nah, something isn't right there--sorry, that's a very gay "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reference.) My theory is that gay men and tween girls have similar tastes in things and usually exude them from their Clean & Clear pores. Both enjoy Lady Gaga, glitter, slim-fit je
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Think before you label people
March 3, 2010
I don't mind cussing that much. I
do think sometimes people overuse curse words in their everyday
vernacular to the point where every other word is the F-bomb, which can
make them seem less intelligent. (Trust me, your story about your trip
to the Whole Foods shouldn't involve that much vulgarity; Jewel maybe,
but not Whole Foods).
What I do mind is when
people corrupt descriptors to mean something offensive. I am talking
about "gay," "retarded" and "ladies." The first two you are probably
aware of, but the third might slide under your radar.
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Here's the skinny on gay-fat, Spanx
February 17, 2010
Women have long had beauty secrets. From slathering on Max Factor's latest pancake makeup to cracking open a
pair of L'eggs, it's all done in the name of beauty.
One of the biggest hidden assets of the past 10 years was the invention of Spanx. For those not in the know, Spanx are body shapewear undergarments. Spanx were just for women, but not any longer. That's right, guys, now you too can slim your gut and hide your moobs with Spanx For Men--provided you are willing to give up $60 and your dignity.
The problem with men's shapewear in general is that the men who need it aren't going to wear it, or they are too far gone for it to make much of a difference.
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Shame on CBS for flagging gay ads
February 3, 2010
The best part of the
Super Bowl is the ads. The game is usually long and boring and features
two teams most people don't give a lick about, but the commercials are
always great. This year a couple of ads already are stealing the
spotlight from Sunday's game.
CBS
has banned two commercials that were set to air during the Super Bowl,
citing "offensive content" as the reason for rejection. Both ads were
aimed at a target demographic: the gay community. CBS, however, has
approved a pro-life ad by the notoriously anti-gay evangelical group
Focus On The Family.
Read more.
Jeez, you try to be nice to someone ...
January 26, 2010
Have you ever gone out of your way to do
something nice for someone only to have him or her take it the wrong
way and get irritated? This recently happened to me twice in the same
week.
I was riding the 146 bus home listening to the latest Metric album and
reading a history book about bananas when two seemingly innocent things
happened. When the bus stopped in front of Water Tower Place, a woman
who was either several months pregnant or several months into a
Chipotle-only diet appeared to be struggling to get on the bus while
juggling her bags. The driver "kneeled" the bus for her, which I thought was a nice gesture, but the woman apparently did not. A look of disgust crossed her face.
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