JasonSSteele.com — Jason S. Steele

Name: Jason Scott Steele - but I prefer something more exotic like Dimitri (which I was told was my name in Greek) or Santiago (which a crazy local on Puerto Vallarta told me my name was in Spanish) or perhaps you like my nom de plume: J Scott Steele (note pretentious lack of punctuation.)

Nicknames I will answer to: Jay, Jace, gringo, Yei, Yeison, puta

Nicknames I will NOT answer to: Jaybird, Jay-Jay, Jammin' Jay, Jumanji

Nickname I begrudgingly answered to in college: Wheels (as in Steele (Steel) Wheels.) I don't know why either.

Birthdate: March, 28 1974 at 8:12 am (it was a rainy Thursday, hence my demeanor).

Height: 6'0". A nice gay height

Weight: Fat (remember, gay fat is different than straight fat.) My lowest weight was 135 but I looked like an olive on a toothpick. So I tried to put on weight by eating as much junk food as possible. I went overboard. I'm thinking of having the Carnie Wilson surgery done on my butt.

Birthplace: Pittsburgh, PA. Magee Women's Hospital. Everyone in Pgh was born here.

Schooling: Highlands Elementary, Whitehall Intermediate, Harrison Jr. High, Baldwin High, Point Park College, California University of Pennsylvania. They got progressively worse after 5th grade.

Jobs I've held:

Bus boy at Chi-Chi's - lasted three days and quit after I dropped a tray of Margarita glasses on the floor and I left them there and walked out. I was 15.
Blockbuster Video - got in trouble for laminating Gummi Bears and freezing spiders with liquid nitrogen then watching them shatter when they hit the floor.
Kennywood Park - five years as manager of Guest Relations. Lots of fun. Good times.
Ketchum Directory Advertising - Chicago - first real world job, not for me.
Participate Systems, Inc. - lasted 5 years until our crazy HR woman accidentally layed off my friend Scott then realized she meant the other office gay and layed me off instead.
Ethel's Chocolate Lounge - a dark, dark, chocolately delicious nightmare.
Claria Corp. - I always forget about that one since I worked in an empty office all alone for 6 months.
Liquidus Marketing - great friends, good times, ummmmm.....

Favorite Color: I don't have one, although I went through a black phase from 1990-91. You should see a picture of me on my 16th Birthday. Black pants, black socks, black shoes, black turtleneck, scowl. No Steelers necklace though.

Colors I hate: yellow (on cars), pink on anything other than Pepto-Bismol or cotton candy and any type of horrible pastel that the Gap is trying to push.

Hobbies: writing, watching movies, listening to music, making "la-di-da" noises to irritate Brad, "meowing" to songs when I don't know the words, learning new languages and then forgetting them (read: Latin (1-year), French (6-years), Sign Language (1-year), Spanish (3-years), eating lots of chocolate and other junk food, being grumpy, not exercising. Flirting with Mike and Kristian. Being beaten up by Kristian for said flirting. Prrrrrrrrbt-ing.

Questions I ask myself: "What is the meaning of life?", "What is the meaning of this?!", "Is Charles one syllable or two?", "Why is abbreviate such a long word?", "Why don't I ever get a straw when I order a glass of water?", "What time is it?", "Why must everyone insist on being so loud?", "What's that smell?", "Is that a gray hair? No, I mean on you." This is an on-going list and I will be adding to it as I see fit.

Words I don't like: fart, turd, panties, matriculate, co-ed (as in a term for women in college), queer (it's just a stupid word), lover, filibuster, elongate, artists (hard to say, too many stststs's). (It took everything I had just to write those first two words.)

Foods I don't like: Mushrooms, eggplant, fruit in cake or ice cream (separately, okay. Together, no.) pie crust, butterscotch, coconut (shredded - tastes like cuticles), peppers of any kind (red, green, bell, etc.) did I mention mushrooms?

Celebrities I need to make out with before I die: Colin Farrell, Ewan MacGregor, Jude Law, Mark Feuerstein, Oliver MacReady, David Fumero, Hugh Jackman, Michael Vartan, Justin Timberlake and many, many more.

Celebrities I don't like: Carson Daly, Jerry O'Connell, Shaquile O'Neal, Michael Jordan (he will shill Tampax if paid enough), Shannon Elizabeth, Ben Stiller, Jay Leno, P. Puff Diddy Daddy, Ol' Dirty Bastard (but Big Baby Jesus is okay), Eric Clapton (I get it, your kid fell out the window. Quit singing about it!), Leonardo DiCaprio, Joey Fatone from N*Sync, Lea DeLaria, John Travolta, Sen. Orrin Hatch, Melissa and Joan Rivers, Billy Bush and any other starf*cker on TV news mags, Clay Aiken, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter. Also, Pgh news reporter Don Cannon and, though not a celebrity, there is this nebbish little man that used to live in my building whom I can't stand. I have no reason for it. He has never said anything mean to me nor have I witnessed bad behavior from him, I just can't stand him. His looks like a turtle with glasses. I want to beat him up. I am also adding Louie Anderson to the list, he looks like a Cabbage Patch Doll from the reject line. Also, could Carrot Top be any uglier? Seriously, is it possible?

Pet Peeves: People that stand on escalators, people who don't say "thank you" and being disrespectful in general, snippy fast-food workers - no one is making you work there! Cute men not returning my stares - HELLO! I'm looking at you! Being out of chocolate, patches of bad smells in Chicago (how can it smell like flowers one minute and sour ass the next?), bugs that fly (or crawl quickly) towards me, morons that can't drive and insist upon using their horns the second the light turns green, people that walk very slowly in front of me and somehow manage to fill the entire sidewalk with their person thus making it impossible for me to walk around them. People that don't pick up after their dog. If I ever see someone let their dog poopy on the sidewalk and not pick it up, I am going to rub their nose in it. BAD OWNER!

Well - I hope you liked my bio. I am sure I will add more categories as I think of them. If you want, you can e-mail me suggestions for things to put up here.

Hide the giant lube jar! The parents are coming!

Recently my parents came to visit from Pittsburgh.

My boyfriend and I live in the heart of Boystown and by now my parents are used to what they refer to as "the lively activity" that goes on nearly 24/7.

When they first visited years ago, I was more worried about my surroundings and made sure everything was "parent friendly." I would reddup the apartment (that's Pittsburghese for "a quick clean") and do a scan to make sure there weren't any nude male screen savers on the computers, a dog-eared copy of the "Gay Kama Sutra" on the bookshelf or a 30-gallon jug of lubricant on the dresser.

Bedroom is a two-way street

A relationship is a two-way street.

One person gives a little and takes a little, and the other does the same. There are also certain agreements made in a relationship because one person doesn't like a particular chore. For example, the guy might clean the litter box and the woman will vacuum, or one person will kill the spiders and the other will dust the tchotchkes. Or the husband will hunt dinner and the wife will cook it up--hey, that's how the Ingalls family operated.

But this sort of arrangement can get sticky in the bedroom. If one person is tackling a big chore and the other is simply reaping the rewards, there's a problem. That's why I was surprised when a friend of mine, whom I shall call "Bob" to protect his identity and use a name with a double-entendre, said he refuses to perform oral sex on his girlfriend but expects her to pleasure him that way. How is that fair?
Read more.

How much 'Sex' can one person take?

I have a love/hate relationship with "Sex and the City."

I loved the TV show but hated the first movie. So I was a bit concerned about the "SATC2" movie that opened last week; would this film be better or worse than the first?

I had seen most of the episodes of "SATC" when it aired on HBO from 1998 to 2004. Say what you will about SJP's constant puns, Samantha's over-the-top sexcapades and the girls' drag queen-inspired wardrobes, it's a fun way to pass 25 minutes of your day--except when the character of Mr. Big in on screen, and that's where my apprehension begins.